Love and alcohol
I think I should start kicking off the butts. Or lessen them at least. I was at Meatshop last night with Rye and his friends and Rye told me that I smoked waaay too much. Really, I think I have to agree. I couldn't catch my breath earlier, and I almost fainted. I smoke like a factory already and my Mom's gonna whop my ass if she finds out I've been releasing my stress with the help of cigarettes... I promised her I'd lessen it. I should. I SHOULD.
I've also been guzzling down a bottle too many of alcohol lately, maybe because I've been thinking of waaaay too many things all at once. Soooo many problems... so many people fucking with my mind. I got home at around 12 noon today... Yikes! (I hope my Mom doesn't get to read this), because of the helluva hangover I had.
Million thanks to Rye for making libre! Hehe... I owe you one man! ;) Bait bait naman! =)
Oh, and thanks for being a good sport Nicole! =)
You lot, cry over this one! =(
I was beginning to regret having worn my favorite
red off-shoulder blouse and pleated skirt inside the
movie house because I was shivering in the cold.
But I took the huge risk because I knew perfectly
how my favorite pair of clothing will impress my
boyfriend. He loved it whenever I showed a little
more skin but if and only if he was with me. I love
how he compliments me - he never fails to make
me feel as if I was the most beautiful woman on
earth.
The movie hasn't begun, and the cold was already
enveloping us. We found good premiere seats. His
hand was holding mine. The feeling of having him
all to myself in the dark tickled me. It didn't occur to
me that he was smelling the side of my neck as he
murmured, "Bango naman ng Baby ko…I love you!"
Another smile curled my lips. "Wala bang I love
you too?" He teased. So I answered back, "I love
you too, Baby."
After a few subtle kisses on the cheek, his
cellphone beeped. He quickly checked who it was
and buried his eyes on the message. I saw him
reply to the text as if he was being chased after.
"Uy, bili ako ng food gusto mo? Kelangan ko narin
kasing mag-load, may kelangan akong reply-an.
Limang piso nalang yata laman nito." He
whispered "La akong bulsa, By. Hawakan mo
muna 'tong cell, baka mawala ko lang. You know
how careless I am." I nodded and kept the phone
safely in my hands. He slightly pinched my cheek,
said I love you again under his breath, and took off.
The movie still hasn't started. I closed my eyes and
gave a hearty yawn. I almost fell asleep when I felt
his phone vibrate violently. The name Michelle was
blinking. Who's Michelle? I thought to myself. Even
before I could press accept, the phone stopped
vibrating and displayed 1 missed call. The
message icon was also blinking – meaning
Michael's inbox was full. I had to delete old
messages to pave way for incoming texts. So I did.
Five messages came in immediately, all of which
were from "Michelle." Without hesitation, I opened
them one by one.
Ha?! Anong wg muna ako text? Kelangan natin
mgusap ngyn na! Nsan kb kc? Can I text you na?
Text moko if coast is clear. R u still with her?
I felt my heart do a somersault in complete
confusion. What did the messages mean? Who
was that HER Michael was still with? I felt cold
sweat forming around my forehead and nose. I
took a deep breath. So I pretended to be Michael
and replied casually to the text messages.
She replied in a matter of seconds.
O, baket ka ba text ng text? May problema ba?
Musta?
Hi Mike!!! Ano ng balita sayo? Baket ngayon ka
lang nagreply? Kanina pako nagpaparamdam!
Kasama mo pa ba si Shayne?
I thought I was just stabbed right in the chest when I
saw my name in Michelle's text message, but I
continued replying with Michael's phone.
Oo, bumili lang ako ng food. Iniwan ko si Shayne
sa loob ng sinehan. Baket ba kasi?
Di mo pa kasi iwan yang babaeng yan eh hihihi!
Love, tuloy ba tayo bukas?
Ah? Ewan ko, ikaw ang bahala. San ba tayo
bukas?
Diba sabi mo pupunta tayo ng Laguna?
Ako nagsabi nun? Ah oo nga pala, I promised you
that. Eh ano bang plano mo?
Ano? Ikaw nga ang nagplano eh! Baket parang
binabalik mo sakin ang tanong? Nakalimutan mo
na ba? 4 months na tayo bukas! Dapat astig ang
out-of-town natin! Swimming tayo siguro tapos
dinner... Alam mo na siguro ang ibig kong sabihin,
love!
I lay motionless. The movie began. I felt my head
spin violently - my vision was now blurred because
of the big teardrops gathering in my eyes. But I
blinked them away and replied as fast as I could. I
knew Michael was on his way back to the cinema
any minute now.
Oo sige na basta sabihin mo yun ang gagawin
natin! Ang bilis ng panahon noh 4 months na tayo.
Parang kelan lang... O sige pano ba ang plano
bukas? Sabihin mo sakin ang nasa isip mo
HONEY
Hmmm... Basta bring your car nalang! Tawagan
moko sa bahay tonight so we can talk ha? Love
you lots! Mwah mwah! (smiley face)
I tried to reply I love you too, but the phone
displayed Check Operator Services.
The whole world must've stopped before my very
eyes. There was nothing more I could feel except
for the tears rolling down my cheeks and the freeze
that was now killing me inch by inch. I stared at the
big screen while my thoughts drifted away; I
couldn't find the right words to describe how I felt
that moment. Images of another girl and my Baby
deeply in love with each other flashed in my head.
And all this time, I was sharing Michael with
someone else… That all this time, there was
another woman whom he had his right arm
around… The tears were all coming out now. I
know people around me were already staring, but I
was no longer thinking rational. Emptiness
devoured me that instant… From a distance I
noticed a familiar face walking up the stairs
towards my seat. I cleared my throat, cleaned my
face, and took several deep breaths. Michael was
on his way to our seats at the center bunk.
"I love you, Baby!" Michael kissed me on the nose.
"Sensha na! Tagal ko noh! Dami kasi nakapila dun
sa binilhan ko Sensha na, sensha na..." He put
down the plastic bags and held my hand tight. He
kissed me softly on the lips and whispered
passionately, "I love you Shayne! I love you Baby
ko..."
I didn't have the strength to answer back. He went
on.
"Oo nga pala, simula bukas, may fieldwork kami.
Baka next week na ang balik ko. Hindi ko pa sure
kung saan yung site, so baka walang signal dun.
But I'll try texting you whenever I can, ok? I love you,
Baby ko!"
I wanted to shout at him, scream at the top of my
lungs, but no sound came out. I couldn't make
myself say anything. I turned mute… my body was
as numb as ever.
"O? Wala na naman bang I love you too dyan?
Dapat lagi kang nag-I-I love you too!" He laughed.
I felt something vibrating on my lap again. It was
Michael's phone - another text message. Michael
saw it blinking and immediately read the message
at a distance. But I was able to read what it said:
Kelan ka pa natuto mgtext in small letters? (smiley
face) tsaka baket honey na ang twag mo sakin?
Hindi na ba love? Bago na ba? (smiley face)
There was a long, long awkward pause. I thought
the world has just stopped revolving. My lips were
sealed and the tears were already flowing freely ; I
could no longer control them. Michael looked
straight at me, with his jaw half open. His eyes
were round and bigger than usual, full of questions
and fear. We just stared at each other, not knowing
what to say. I felt the whole world sink and
disappear, leaving only the two of us alone in the
dark. After a few seconds of silence that felt like
forever, I swallowed the big lump in my throat with
all my strength and bitterly whispered...
I love you too, baby ko..
Posted by peanutbuttercups @ 4:47 PM |  
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4 Comments:
holy fuck....
so...what did you do next?!
Lol... No... this ddnt happen to me. But sumthing LIKE it did. Just re-posted it cos it reminded me of my own experience. Something really reall REALLY similar to this... ;p
ah kei...whew...
but what WOULD you have done?
now THAT would be a kickass post!
just walk out. plain and simple. and to make sure that unlike the girl, he doesn't see me cry... I have waaay too much pride over such issues.
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