!!!!!!
Mood- horrible
Music- Vendetta Red cried Rape on their date with destiny (Vendetta Red)
It's been confirmed.
I have been diagnosed with both unipolar AND manic depression.
Things haven't been going well, and yesterday was the limit. I'm in deep shit, and I only have a 50/50 percent chance of getting my ass out of my own mess. I LOATHE that prof!!! He just won't lighten up and he's out to make my life hell. Bah bah bah!!! After what he did, I have come to the conclusion that he did not have a life when he was in college! I hate him I hate him I hate him! I can just launch into an entire litany of all the swear words I can think of to describe him! I am thisclose to totally losing it.
He'll go to hell he will.
Anyhow...
Symptoms- The feeling of sadness does not go away* you don't feel like doing alot of things you used to like to do* little things make you lose your temper* your sleep pattern changes- you start sleeping alot more* your eating habits change- you've lost your appetitie* you feel restless and tired most of the time* you get irritated often* you have a negative attitude a lot of the time* it's hard to make up your mind* you forget lots of things, and and it's hard to concentrate*
Had a drink with one of my good friends last night. It was good. I needed it. Something she said made me laugh.
"Alam mo, bilib ako sayo. Maski na you're going through so much right now, you still keep on smiling."
I laughed because it was so ironic. But yeah, I STILL smile because I'd rather feel ugly than LOOK ugly. When you LOOK ugly, the whole world knows something is wrong... and that's one thing I do NOT want.
I've also been swearing alot too. Like when I drop something, when I'm stuck in traffic, when I'm late for class, when I'm in a looong queue, when my dsl ceases to serve its purpose, when I'm starving and there's no food in the larder.... little things. The other day, I shouted "Motherf*cker!!!* to no particular person in the corridor on my way to class cause I forgot my binder. And everyone just stared and all conversations stopped.
Yeah. yeah. As you were.
Anyway, maybe I'll disappear for awhile... and return when things are better and I feel all sunshine-ey again.
Posted by peanutbuttercups @ 4:45 PM |  
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5 Comments:
just keep on smiling! =) may utang nga pala ako na Starbucks sayo! Pinalitan ko number ko. Imessage ko nalang sa friendster.
girrrrl!!!! i saw you sa AS kanina, pero you were talking to someone. We must meet up for coffee rin. Miss you.
p.s- i still have your book. kaya we have to meet so I can return it. Text me!
Ed- onga!!! stickers stickers stickers uy!
Sarai- haha. stickers stickers stickers! i miss you both.
"Maski na you're going through so much right now, you still keep on smiling"
when people tell me that, i arrive to the freaky, but realistic conclusion that i AM crazy...
parang si sisa, only smiling all the time...
hahah...
:: keep smiling, that way the world will never know what you're upto next - the great claudzki ::
Lol!!! that made me laugh! sisa! ONGA NOH?
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