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| Wednesday, August 31, 2005
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updates
I never realized how I'd be so pressurized just to belong to a school org. It's mind boggling to think that just a week ago, I was thinking of quitting, but thanks to words of encouragement from my good friends, I'm still sticking to my (extremely) ambitious plan. Now I just have four more days to get through, and I'm done...
*whew!*
But after that, I'd be getting two weeks of hell AGAIN, just to get in another school "org." Sometimes, I wonder why I bother, but at the end of each day, it's just so fulfilling to see what you've accomplished and what you've achieved. I've realized so many things about myself and it feels good to know and show just what I'm actually capable of.
On to other matters.
Just when I finally accepted to stay out of the dating scene, I actually get opportunities to be out on the market again. Just the other night, my cousin set me up with this guy, and I got so freaking wasted! Haha. I was told the following morning that I drank 10 Red Horses (!!!) and I remember running out on the street, with my "date" trying to catch me! Sad to say, I ddn't give him my landline number even after he asked for it the next day. Nice dude and all, but through all the messy relationships I've been in, I've learnt not to waste time on someone I have no reasons to waste time on in the first place.
Oh oh oh... There's this other dude. And can I just say that he's so so so so so cute? *sigh*. We're in the process of flirting like hell... but hey, it's too early to tell. What with all the hullabaloo going on in my life right now... a serious relationship would have to wait.
Okay... now that I've blogged about that. On to concentrating on my Acads.
Posted by peanutbuttercups @ 9:56 PM |  
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| Sunday, August 28, 2005
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regret
I went to the salon to get a trim, and I was horrified with the result. I said "trim," but the hairstylist just snipped away and transformed my once super long hair into a hairstyle I told myself I'd never sport. I am sooo pissed, although my friends say that it's not as short as I whine about. Rawrrrr...
I have so much to complain about these days.
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| Friday, August 26, 2005
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old school
"Everyone has a clear idea of how someone else should lead their own lives... but none about his/her own."
Just when I thought I'd seen enough of this bullshit in high school, people start acting just like kids all over again. It's sooo sad how people can be so judgmental, when they don't even know you. It's pathetic I tell you! PA-THET-IC! Why anyone would even want to bother with my agenda is beyond me. They even take it one step further by dragging my friends along... and that sucks even more. Still, the last thing I need is to bother with some people's opinion about me because honestly, they're pushing their luck if they think I'm going to change the way I am for their sorry asses. As long as I don't step on anyone, I know I'm not doing anything wrong...
Seriously, is life THAT boring and don't they have anything better to do with their lives?
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| Wednesday, August 17, 2005
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changes.
Before I even hit college, my Dad would always tell me that my college days would make up the best years of my life... It's an entire phase of meeting new people, figuring yourself out, and all the adventures in between. Funny how my first year in college was anything but. I had to go through an entirely difficult, and somewhat painful phase... I had never left home before, and till I set foot in college, the word "insecurity" meant nothing in my vocabulary. It's been two years since my initiation, and looking back, it's been such a whirlwind of laughter and tears. I recently saw a pic of me taken just before I even enrolled, and I couldn't even recognize myself! So much has changed, and although I'd like to think that I have changed for the better, it scares me to think that I might change too much... I used to have a no-fuss carefree attitude. But these days, I seem to be particular about the silliest things. There are just sooo many happenings. Sooo many changes. It's too fast. Sometimes, I don't know who I am anymore... or if this is the real me. Mom says I'm not the girl she used to know. Dad says he didn't expect me to be this different. *sigh* Just when I thought I had passed the identity crisis stage, the fucked up phase goes and pays me a visit...
Posted by peanutbuttercups @ 2:09 AM | |
| Saturday, August 06, 2005
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=(
I am such a crybaby. I don't know why... I just am. I haven't lived "properly" under Mom and Dad's roof for almost 3 years now... so when I do get the chance to eat Momma's home cooked meals, tease my sisters, and debate with my Dad for let's say around a month... I treasure it with all my heart. So when they left today for home, I couldn't stop crying... I am just so close to my family, I feel a humongous crater in my gut whenever they're not around... It's weird cos I'm supposed to be the mature one since I'm the eldest... but deep down that strong and intimidating air people seem to think I have...
I'm really such a sap.
I cry. I whine. I panic whenever I have to do something on my own.
And today, I've realized, that in sooo many ways... I'm STILL a kid.
And I'm STILL scared to grow up and face the day when I'd have to stand on my own feet.
Posted by peanutbuttercups @ 7:03 PM | |
| Monday, August 01, 2005
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sufferin sockatash
So life's been really sucky these past few weeks. I am currently trying to balance my Debate Society application period, my Acads, and spending time with my family. They're leaving on the 6th, and I'm feeling sad already. I've been giving up smoking because they're around; and it makes me wonder whether I'll be having the same smoke-free attitude when they're gone.
On the same note, I've also been tongue stud free for almost two weeks cos Momma hates my lil piercing. She doesn't know I still keep it on when she's not around though.
Anyway, with all the stuff I'm juggling, my brain's killing me... and I've been neglecting my diet again. There are days when I eat like a pig, and the next when I eat almost nothing at all.
argh. nevermind.
i'm too lazy to blog.
Posted by peanutbuttercups @ 9:39 PM | |
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